Your prison is walking this world all alone

[jedi_librettist]

Ben watched out the window as the ship dropped out of hyperspace. He took a shaky breath. It was time. He wouldn't burden his brother anymore. He walked back to his cabin. He didn't know how what he would do after he left. It didn't matter. This was the right thing.

Comments

[jedi_librettist]

Ben shrugged half-heartedly. "Funny how kids pick out the worst people to latch onto. Even with the Force."

[middleoftheforce]

"Ben..." It was an irritated sigh.

[jedi_librettist]

Ben turned away slightly at Solo's tone. "I can't be what he needs."

[middleoftheforce]

"No one is asking you to do that," Solo said. "Not now."

[jedi_librettist]

"I can never be what he needs."

He looked back at his cabin. This was the end. He wouldn't be back.

[middleoftheforce]

"Maybe he needs someone who's been through what he has."

[jedi_librettist]

"He better not have been through what I have."

Ben turned away, trying to end the conversation.

[middleoftheforce]

"So what are you going to do?"

[jedi_librettist]

Ben shrugged. He didn't have any plans beyond finding somewhere to disappear.

[middleoftheforce]

"That's not answer," there was an irritated sigh. He could really do without his brother caging up like this.

[jedi_librettist]

Ben clenched his fists. He was trapped. He couldn't leave like he needed to.

"I don't know. Is that what you want to hear?"

[middleoftheforce]

"Not really, no."

[jedi_librettist]

"Then what do you want?!"

He was so tired of guessing.

[middleoftheforce]

"For you to actually talk to me?"

Which was weird, all things considered, but it was how he was feeling.

[jedi_librettist]

"What's left to say? What do you want me to say?"

If only Bail had never found him. It would have been easier to never have had the possibility of being with his family again.

[middleoftheforce]

"Just... talk!" Another irritated sigh. "You keep closing up and I can't help if you do that."

[jedi_librettist]

"Help." He made a sound that could have been either a laugh or a sob. "How do you think you can help? You can't change the past."

[middleoftheforce]

"But the past doesn't need to be the future." And right now, it felt like he was trying to make it that way.

[jedi_librettist]

"You can't change what I've become."

No one could make Tattooine become a jungle.

[middleoftheforce]

"Who you've become doesn't need to be who you'll be."

[jedi_librettist]

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

[middleoftheforce]

"Because you won't talk to me to let me know!" It came out in a frustrated groan. How was he meant to help in any sort of way if his brother kept closing off and keeping him out. He couldn't even find out much via their Bond, which meant that he was being deliberately locked out.

[jedi_librettist]

That was definitely a sob this time. Ben squeezed his eyes shut, trying and failing to stop the tears. "You want to know what happened to me, what I am? I'm the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa and I'm a slave. Do you understand what that means? You how I know what the winner's perks in the pits are? I was one of them. And even after I made them forget who I am... You want to know where Ani came from? I'm a whore, Bail. I... There's no coming back from that."

[middleoftheforce]

That threw him for a half a second. "That... means nothing, Ben. That's what they did to you, not who you are."

[jedi_librettist]

Ben clenched his fists. The bunk freaked dangerously. "You don't understand. You can never understand. They destroyed me. Every part of me."