for middleoftheforce

[jedi_librettist]

Ben picked a seat in the corner of the galley. There was something homey and comforting about watching his brother cook. The last of the tension he'd carried melted away.

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[jedi_librettist]

Ben didn't react. Images drifted into the bond. A gold collar with a chain. A cup of some vile drink pressed to his lips. Kneeling in front of a familiar bounty hunter, wincing from the hand pulling his hair. A hot knife tracing a pattern above his hip.

[middleoftheforce]

Solo swallowed heavily, eyes screwing shut as if it would stop the images appearing. He tried pushing back through the bond, yelling at his brother to waken up.

[jedi_librettist]

Ben didn't wake up and the nightmare didn't stop but he clung to his twin through the bond, reaching for the comfort he hadn't had when everything had actually happened. Shame colored the fear. "You don't think you're special just because your masters shares his food with you. You know better, don't you, slave prince?"

[middleoftheforce]

There was rage boiling, and a desire to go back into the cockpit, turn the ship around and go shoot down any of those 'masters' he had left alive. He pushed it down, buried the thought. He needed to focus on Ben

Wake up!

[jedi_librettist]

Ben felt the rage through the bond. Everything coming from him stopped,the bond growing cold as he woke up.

"Sorry. That was rude."

[middleoftheforce]

"... Sleeping wasn't rude. Having nightmares isn't rude."

His voice was firm.

[jedi_librettist]

Ben gave him a look as if to ask what nightmare was being talked about.

"Falling asleep here and now was "

[middleoftheforce]

An irritated noise. Oh great, they were going to be playing that game, were they?

"Nope. Wasn't."

[jedi_librettist]

Of course they were. Horrific nightmares werent something you admitted to having.

"Mom wouldn't be happy."

[middleoftheforce]

There was a shrug.

"Trust me, you're not gonna be the family disappointment."

[jedi_librettist]

Ben shrugged, not meeting his twin's eyes.

[middleoftheforce]

"Ben..."

He wasn't sure what to say, and just sent reassuring feelings through the bond.

[jedi_librettist]

Ben didn't openly react. Even in the bond, he seemed muted. His twin didn't know what he'd done over the last fourteen years.

[middleoftheforce]

His twin didn't care. They'd both done stuff. There was a lot of shit he wasn't going to talk about ever.

[jedi_librettist]

The older twin didn't have to relive the same things Ben did. He lifted a hand to his throat, rubbing at the faded scars from the chafing of a collar.

"I need to use the 'fresher."

[middleoftheforce]

"Down to the right."

He pointed.

[jedi_librettist]

Ben retreated to the 'fresher as fast as he could go without running. He didn't know how to deal with his twin turning everything he was used to on its head. He closed the door and leaned against it, relieved to know that no one would disturb him here. He swallowed a scream, fighting to contain his rage. This was his brother's ship. He didn't want to damage it.

[middleoftheforce]

Solo breathed out, knowing how much his brother was fighting an instinct to run. And no, it wasn't some Bond telling him that, it was just a really good natural intuition. He made his way down the halls to the fresher, glancing in on the group of other freed slaves. Most had opted to just sleep, though some of the younger ones sat and talked.

Yeah, he'd probably chose the sleep option himself.

He stood outside the fresher door, leaning against the wall. He could wait, see what happened next.

[jedi_librettist]

Been closed his eyes, breathing heavily. He couldn't think. It was too much. He'd lost too much. He'd given up too much. He threw a hand behind him, unleashing a blast of the Force. There was a crash as the mirror shattered. The towels shredded. The towel bar groaned, cracked, and then broke. He let out a harsh sob and fell to his knees.

[middleoftheforce]

Solo stiffened on hearing the noises, pushing himself off the wall and towards the door.

"...Ben?"

[jedi_librettist]

"I'm fine."

The words are harsh, bitten out. Ben's voice is brittle. There's another sharp crack as the towel bar snaps again.

[middleoftheforce]

"...Really sounds like it."

Look, he cannot help the way the comment comes out, dry and knowing.

"You wanna open the door?"

[jedi_librettist]

No. No, he doesn't want to open the door. He wants to continue this until there's nothing left intact in the room. He hasn't had a spell like this since he was a teenager. But that's practically an order so he stands and opens the door, not meeting Bail's eyes.

[middleoftheforce]

It was not practically an order, but they can argue over that later on. He glances round, taking in the damage and shrugs.

"I was due to fix this place up anyway."

[jedi_librettist]

Ben hunches his shoulders in, trying to make himself seem smaller. It's completely unnecessary with his brother but it's easier to be scared and not hurt anyone than angry. He really should have better control than this. He doesn't understand why he lost it so badly.